Written summer 1997-

 

El Shaddai, thou art my "all Sufficient One" and the One who chastens me in order to make me fruitful!  You are my complete security, and as I fall upon Your breast, I know that You will hold me in Your arms of love - no matter what - for always and for all time! "How  excellent is thy loving kindness, O God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings." (PS. 36:7) Lord..."Who have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee.  My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever." (Ps. 73: 25-26) Thou art my "heavenly husband"! (Is. 54:5)  Surely, Lord, You will continue to take care of me and protect me there in Your arms of love.  You have done it so many times - through little Timothy's death, through the pregnancies and labor and delivery of my eight precious children, through hospital episodes  with the kids, through our severe financial difficulties, through times of loneliness when we were all alone without fellowship, through persecution and slander from those we love, through difficulties with the children, through physical weakness and sickness, through times when I've had to trust my dear husband's judgments as I trust in You!  In all these things, You have HELD ME IN YOUR WONDERFUL ARMS OF LOVE!

As I write this, Lord, I am reminded of the severe carbohydrate intolerance I seem to have and how I've had dizzy/spacey spells, tachycardia, anxiety attacks, weakness, etc. because of it and how I was so sick right before You sent this last sweet baby to us.  You know, Lord, how I bowed myself in the field and surrendered my life to You and said in my heart "...so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it be by life, or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." Dear El Shaddai, You held me close in Your arms of love and saw me and precious, baby Autumn Patience safely through!  I praise Your name!

Lord, may I give up my OWN WILL that Your POWER might rest upon me! "If (I) have everything but (You), (I) have NOTHING! If (I) have nothing but (You), (I) have EVERYTHING!" Lord, I want "to KNOW (Your) love which passeth knowledge, that (I) might be filled with all (Your) FULLNESS..." (Eph.3:19) as I rest in Your Almighty arms of love and security. In Jesus' name. Amen!