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Meditations for Women Names of God > Adonai Written summer 1997-
"That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth
the LORD Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from
the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto
righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation"|." (Rom.
10:9-10)
Yes, Lord, You are ADONAI, my Lord and Master! Salvation came to me when I confessed and gave testiomony that You were my LORD! You have a right to rule me and to determine my life and how I am to live it. You are my master, and I am Your servant. TRUE SALVATION can come in no other way! O Lord, how difficult it is at times to SURRENDER. As I walk this "narrow-path" that You have put me on, You have from time to time asked me to place various things upon the altar before You. SURRENDER to Your LORDSHIP is a very hard thing, but what a BLESSING there is in it! Dear Lord Jesus, Adonai, You and I both will remember the things I have had to FACE HEAD ON and surrender my heart to since I have been Your child. Oh the fightings within my heart as a little girl when You asked me if I would be WILLING to be a missionary for You. How I hated the idea, and how miserable I was until I surrendered and said, "Yes, Lord, I will do it - if this is what You want for my life." Although I have so far never actually been a missionary in the normal sense of the term, the thought of it has delighted my heart (and my dear husband's too- for that has been his desire for quite some time), and I have, by Your grace, surrendered my children to this end if it is Your will. My heart would rejoice if some of our "arrows" would be shot forth as missionaries! I would yet love to fulfil my husband's desire, also, in this direction, if You would but open up the doors for such ministry. In the meantime, may I delight in ministry HERE - right where you've place me! Yes, You are my Adonai! There have also been many other things which You have called me to surrender throughout the years including dress, music, lifestyle... I'm sure You deal with every person differently, and everyone has certain "things" that have a "HOLD" on their hearts that You want them to SURRENDER upon Your altar.... As You know, Lord, one of the hardest things I've had to deal with is pride in my heart in several things concerning my children. My ideas of education and the desire for my children to be "academically excellent" and ahead of everyone else their own age used to be an idol in my heart, as well as other things. Also You have showed me recently that I have a horrible, controlling spirit. I want to SURRENDER this to You, also. O Lord, please forgive me.... The hardest thing You have asked me to surrender, Lord, was baby Timothy - 13 months old. At his death, my heart broke in ten million pieces, but he is Yours, Lord! All the rest of my children and my dear husband are Yours, too. Please watch over and take care of them; bless them abundantly; save and sanctify each one of them! Help them to love You and Your Word even more than I do! I love them, Lord...but they are Yours! I love You, Lord! Make my love stronger and yet more REAL that I might be TOTALY SURRENDERED to You in ALL THINGS, and may I not hesitate to give You whatever You may ask for in the future. You are my Lord and Master, my Adonai, and only as I surrender to You will I know You also as my El Shaddai! In Jesus' name. Amen! |